Cake

The biggest myth here is that during intercourse, women orgasm from a unique form of stimulation that is different from what gives us pleasure on our own. Au contraire! The exact same techniques that we have discovered on our own are the techniques that will work for us during intercourse. In addition, the more orgasms you have on your own, the stronger they become and more frequent they become with and without a partner. This means you have to take control.

First, do not be afraid, shy or ashamed to incorporate the same kind of clitoral stimulation that you enjoy during masturbation - fingers, vibrator, positions - into intercourse.

Unfortunately most people believe that women are supposed to orgasm from penetration alone without any direct clitoral stimulation. There is now ample evidence to prove that the majority of women do not orgasm from penetration alone.

Vaginal vs. Clitoral? Not anymore

Over the years a lot of weight has been placed on WHERE the female orgasm occurs, or more specifically, what area is best stimulated to induce that orgasm. The female body has been split up between the internal and the external - or in semi-technical terms, the G-spot and the clitoris.

Much of the existing information on female anatomy is contradictory and confusing. Some publications show the clitoris as a small isolated nub at the front of the body, and ignore the presences of internal erectile tissue all together. Other publications lead women to believe there is reason to shoot for “vaginal” orgasms from internal stimulation alone. Much of this confusion is due to a century old debate over whether the “vagina” or the “clitoris” is ultimately responsible for female pleasure.

It is time to do away with this false dichotomy. g-spot orgasms, vaginal orgasms? Nope it’s all connected with the clitoris at its center. We know now that woman have an extensive, responsive and interactive system. There is no one versus the other – it is all connected! Let’s call it our very own pleasure system.

Incorporate direct clitoral stimulation during intercourse and you will come!

Our pleasure system, including the clitoris, g-spot, vagina, and anus is similar to the male anatomy in that they both respond to some form of direct stimulation. Add direct clitoral stimulation during intercourse by using your hands, his hands, a vibrator, whatever. Get on top during intercourse, press your clitoris against his body and establish a rhythm that works best for you.

You must tell your boyfriend how you like your clitoris stimulated. There is nothing that turns a sexually secure man on more than a woman who is authentically orgasmic. Remember, how we make love to ourselves is what we are bringing to sex with our partners.

The female orgasm is commonly thought of as both more difficult and more complex to achieve than the male orgasm. Those of us who masturbate regularly can often orgasm in under a minute if we so desire, or multiple times a day. There’s nothing technically or psychologically hard about that.

Love,
CAKE