Cake

Researchers at the New England Research Institute and the University of Massachusetts Medical School have discovered that a decrease in estrogen during menopause does not affect sexual desire. Contrary to common assumption, the drop in estrogen during menopause is not related to changes in sexual response in postmenopausal women. Rather, they found that the decreased estrogen production during menopause causes vaginal dryness, which can, of course, make sexual intercourse painful. Because the decrease in estrogen affects cervical fluid production and creates vaginal dryness, why not add some lubrication to the mix? If you're included in the 20 percent of women who experience vaginal dryness, try a water-based lubricant such as Astroglide or K-Y Jelly (Avoid Vaseline -- it's not water-soluble and may cause vaginal infections). Creams such as Replens Vaginal Moisturizer work directly on the vaginal tissue to reduce dryness.

It All Starts With You

One word: Masturbate. Your sexual desire is in your hands and under your direct control, literally. Whether you're with a partner or whether you masturbate alone, regular stimulation can help increase sexual responsiveness and pleasure. While physiological changes or decreased sexual desire may dissuade you from having intercourse, masturbation is a great way to ensure that you have more orgasms.

Use It or Lose It

Do your Kegel exercises! Just like every other muscle in your body, your vaginal muscles will lose their strength over time if not properly exercised. If you have noticed that since the onset of menopause that your orgasms have been less intense, then strengthening your vagina with Kegel exercises will enable you to once again experience stronger orgasms. To perform Kegels, squeeze your pelvic muscles as though you are trying to hold back urine. Hold this position for a few seconds, then release slowly. To make it more fun, try to see how long you can hold it before releasing. Do this every day for toning.

Meditate

Meditation and deep breathing techniques have a calming effect on the stressors of life. Menopause comes at a demanding time of life, when you may already be juggling work, child-rearing and caring for aging parents. Add to this coping with menopausal symptoms such as hot flashes and night sweats, and there's even more to be stressed about. Try deep-breathing exercises and meditation at least once a day to take care of your mental and emotional health.

Stay Tuned In to Your Sexual Desires

Nowhere is it written that you have to stop fulfilling your sexual desires when you reach a certain age. To get in touch with those feelings, look around you, not inside of you. With a little encouragement, exploration and confidence, you can fine-tune your libido by becoming attuned to your body’s arousal signals, and figuring out what makes you hot, or what dulls your senses. When we are open to what turns us on, sometimes arousal can even take us by surprise while sitting at work, working out or hanging at home.

Reap Your Rewards

As we age, women often experience a sense of independence and freedom from body image issues. Because you no longer face the chance of becoming pregnant, and your children have grown up, or at least are almost grown, you and your partner are finally alone for what is, many times, the first time since you have been together. You can now think of sex as an opportunity to experience pleasure. If intercourse is not doing it for you, then experiment with new methods of arousal such as practicing mutual masturbation, incorporating a vibrator into your lovemaking sessions and oral sex. Now get to it!